whats a waifu anyway?

required reading before reading this entry:
waifuism guide - short read into what it is and the community. if you're only gonna read one thing out of this list then make it this
macaque's article on waifuism - longer but briefly talks about microlabels such as 2DL and fictosexuality
pygmalic label - very short, just about what the label is

so i haven't been here in awhile i guess i should address that first before going into my topic

the main reason i haven't been on here is honestly because for a long while i didnt have a pc, at least one that i could call my own anyway. i switched between screen resolutions three times this year too which really messed me up. sometimes you think a page you made looks great and then you go on a different pc and look at the same page and its like wow! this is shit! (same happened with browsers for this current layout, this is why i test my pages with firefox and chrome now...)

i DID actually code a few pages during the beginning-middle of this year, but i was stingy and wanted to upload all the revamped pages together which ultimately led into this site going stagnant for awhile... im almost done with junkyard at least since i didnt update that one at all, the only thing im doing now is adding links to it and then i shouuuld be able to upload it just fine. im not gonna put a date on it because i know im gonna procrastinate on it lol

speaking of coding, im actually coding for the oz shrine right now. ive finished writing for it today and all i need to do is make it all pages. it looks okay so far, a little plain and its even worse on chrome because the gradient doesn't work, but im happy with it. it took me a bit to even code for it properly since its been so long since ive coded... T_T

but anyway that leads me onto my topic. you see while adding links to the new junkyard, i found the links i bookmarked about waifuism. at the time i read them all and didn't think much of them, but after writing (and also gushing to my lovely girlfriend) about oz i realised i wrote about him the exact same as waifuists do about their love. whenever i talked about oz i explicitly said that i was in love with him and that was very much on purpose

and i don't know, it just kind of hit me. like "oh these intense feelings i have about a fictional character isn't a thing everybody has? damn." regardless i've never really given a fuck about other people thinking im weird for it or whatever, i don't talk about him much regardless, but still. its even funnier because i've never liked the word waifu, its hard to say it and not immediately think of the degenerates and freaks that use it

i have no interest in being a part of the waifuism community either, from what i've heard the subreddit is the main one and they're awful. id be shunned anyway since i have five 'waifus' and polyamory is heavily frowned upon over there. they're oz yellow, drakath, hero cookie, mr lee and the last is my friend's oc so you wouldn't know them anyway. they'll all get their own shrines in due time.. (and yeah they're technically called husbandos but referring to them as shit like my army of malewives is infinitely funnier)

saying this out in the open feels a bit embarrassing but ever since i was like 8 i've been reading (and at one point writing but you REALLY don't want to see those) x reader fics with characters i liked. i was originally on wattpad since im not gonna lie thats where the majority of them are but then i grew up and became better. i still read them though i'm not gonna pretend they're not fun. i guess i've always been a waifuist at heart *single tear*

i will say the main difference between me and waifuists is that they talk about their waifu as if they're dating or married already, while i talk about mine as if i have a massive crush on them because that's what it feels like to me. i mean i'd hope they like me back (and to be honest for a few of them i think they would) but idk i've never seriously referred to them as my husband or whatever. not saying it isnt fine to do that either, just that i don't personally

but yeah, i think its a little surreal i've never connected the dots until now. i don't want to call myself a waifuist because i think the term is awful and i don't want to be associated with the larger community anyway, so i suppose if i'd call myself anything it'd be the term pygmalic

25/02/2023 update: how did i forget the term selfshipping. thats a much more popular term that means basically the same thing (although selfshipping is a more general term, waifuism is usually more 'serious' and goes much deeper). selfshipping is shipping yourself, usually represented through a self-insert or oc, with your f/o, meaning fictional other. selfshipping can be as serious as waifuism or shit someone does for fun. i'd technically count as a selfshipper but calling myself pygmalic sounds way cooler

there are not many sources on this and my entry is very much not meant to be information on it, im still half questioning the label myself, so i'll link any more sources on this i can find:
fictosexuality - another more popular label similar to pygmalic, main difference being fictosexuals are heavily implied to be aroace towards real people